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Joke of the Day

"""How much are these glasses?"" ""$150 sir"" ""I guess you could say"" *puts on sunglasses* *runs out without another word*"

"I've fallen in love' My husband yelled to me as his arse cheeks splashed against the toilet water."

"Go to Starbucks - Order Coffee - Tell them your name is Waldo - Leave"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber."

"Necrophiles like their coffee like they like their women. Still warm."

"LPT: If your girl ever asks you which of her friends you want to have a three-way with, DO NOT GIVE HER TWO NAMES!"

"Got kicked off the cruise ship after three day of constantly saying ""poop deck"" & snickering."

"She buys me a lot of shitty music these days. ""Reminds me of your old stuff,"" she says. So maybe I get her a gift subscription to Playboy."

"What do you call a black ghost? Bill Cosby. He comes while you're sleeping."

"What do you call a dinosaur made of plastic bricks? A legosaurus! Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share."