34250

Joke of the Day

"What do Japanese Kids, Chinese Democracy and German Humor have in common? All are equally oxymoronic."

"What do you call a zombie that runs fast? A zoombie."

"I used to think I was schizophrenic. But then the voices in my head said I was fine."

"What do you call 100 lesbians with assault rifles? Militia Etheridge"

"*moonwalks into office* *draws dual finger guns* *fires off seven shots at Annie from HR* *holsters guns* *gets chosen for random drug test*"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lic-Alot-O-Puss"

"Coconut water: for people who love the taste of piss but don't wanna deal with the social stigma of drinking it."

"What did Tommy Wiseau say when he got an A on his final? Oh, hi Marks!"

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: In a mirror probably unless new technology exists. [interviewer thinking] holy smokes he's good"

"The ultimate comfort food: a blanket made out of grilled cheese sandwiches."