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Joke of the Day

"Why did the mechanic go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to make a van go!"

"Proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing."

"Guest: Why did you offer me a piece of candy? Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel."

"I pulled up next to a Tesla at a stoplight and asked him to rev the engine... I was shocked when he actually did it."

"And the lord said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and received a toaster."

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on a chin? A dick in your mouth"

"I don't mind comic sans. It's honestly a very well rounded font."

"Sorry if this is a re-post but ... Here's a great knock knock joke - but you have to start Ok, knock knock Who's there ......."

"I get a new phone every year just so my friends don't think I'm lying when I tell them I've lost their number Avoidance is expensive"

"A guy tells his doctor ""I have a good pee every morning at 7.. ""And a good bowel movement at 8."" Doctor says ""OK so what's the trouble?"" Man says ""I don't get out of bed till 9!"""