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Joke of the Day
"William Howard Taft was so fat... ...he sat in TWO branches of the federal government."
Next Joke
"What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave? Aight I'll calcu-lata"
"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."
"Itching, flaky skin? Burning sensation while urinating? You're probably on fire!"
"I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous. It's just a shame I'm a lefty."
"""Two parents that will never give you their love and approval!"" -sad Buzzfeed post"
"I try to teach my mom something new everyday Because apparently you're supposed to learn from your mistakes."
"How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they arrest the room because it's black."
"""Who am I kidding?"" - blind comedians"
"Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney."