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Joke of the Day

"You had me at cello."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick!!"

"Did you hear about the lesbians that built a house yeah, they didn't get any studs, it's all tongue and groove"

"Did you hear about the statistician's party? The dress code was causal."

"I'm Winston Wolf, I fix problems. So I hear you're having a bad hair day."

"What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral? Mourning wood."

"Do you guys wanna jear a hoke about dyslexics? I had a joke about Alzheimer's but damnit, I don't remember it."

"Whenever I'm depressed, I go to the roof at night, watch the view, reminisce, look at the stars and be touched by the lord.... ..the land lord.."

"Firing Victoria of IAMA"

"Monsters, Inc. 3: It's harder to make kids laugh The Internet has made them jaded The monster need help They teach the kids to smoke pot"