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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the fruit get married? They cantaloupe"
Next Joke
"Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? The pig took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was the pig next door."
"It's my birthday tomorrow - in lieu of charitable donations, please send gifts."
"Just updated my resume. Hobbies section now includes: ""Currently tied with Lance Armstrong in Tour de France victories."""
"The real reason Jesus died on the cross He forgot the safeword."
"What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that"
"When the smog clears over Los Angeles... ... U.C.L.A. I am not at all sorry for this joke. Edit: So at some point I went from 20 to 923 upvotes. I regret not checking this sooner."
"What do you call a black guy who flies airplanes? A 'pilot"" you effing racist!!"
"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump's tie."
"[therapist] what seems to be the problem? [her] he only hears what he wants to hear. It's awful [me] oh my god yes, I would love a waffle"