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Joke of the Day

"Felt sad that rabbits ate all my marigolds. Then felt glad that I don't have to water them anymore. Suburban life is a roller coaster."

"Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter... It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife."

"What do you get when Philip Glass breaks? John Cage."

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing? A buccaneer."

"I'm a scientist that's researching beastiality between humans and dogs I'll be in my lab."

"I'd rather be an outlaw than an in-law."

"Oklahoma Thunder & Miami Heat... Can't tell if they are talking about a weather report or NBA Finals."

"Why are there never any cool side affects from drugs? Like ""this drug may cause severe sexiness"""

"Why did the fisherman catch the Mackerel and then let it go? Cause he's all about that Bass, bout that Bass.... No Mackerel."

"What's the difference.... Between eating pussy and driving in the fog? When you're driving in the fog you can't see the asshole in front of you"