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Joke of the Day
"How did Han Solo enter the world? On the perineum falcon!"
Next Joke
"Midgets are not a big part of society. Huehuehuehuehuehuehue...."
"Boss: ok just bear with me *I growl and start clawing the air* B: wtf are you doing Me: I..You said.. B:first snail mail' now this..Just go"
"If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world."
"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls"
"Did you hear about the guys who stole Ar off the periodic table? They Argon and got away."
"You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a glass of water. If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant"
"""Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!"" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no."
"Never trust someone that wears colored contacts. They've already lied to you."
"For me, girls are like blackjack... I try to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."