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Joke of the Day

"The greatest joke of all time... Android."

"I once asked my friend from New Zealand to count how many girlfriends he's had Shortly after attempting to do so, he fell asleep."

"What is the biggest mistake Steve Jobs ever made? He thought it was ""being at Apple every day"", not ""eating an apple every day""."

"Some say Ambien and vodka make strange bedfellows. I say what a lovely pancake time machine, Madame President. Also, why am I a table?"

"An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, ""What is that for?"""

"'Dad, how do you feel about abortions?' Why don't you ask your sister? But I don't have a .........oooooh."

"Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut."

"Hygiene No my name is dad not Gene."

"What do nails like to do on the weekend? Get hammered."

"Why was the professor cross-eyed? Because he couldn't control his pupils!"