112562

Joke of the Day

"Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut."

"How can tell your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky."

"What do you call a paraplegic with Ebola? A parabola."

"Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says ""Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"" Biden replies ""No, Bush did 9:11."""

"A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians."

"Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby."

"What does Captain Falcon drink in Hawaii? PUNCH!"

"Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut? He's all right now!"

"What do Grammar Nazis support? The Third Write"