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Joke of the Day

"An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, ""What is that for?"""

"My wife told me I should go to the gym with her to get in shape, but I suggested I just start with skipping. So far I've skipped the gym three times this week and I feel great."

"Your proctologist called. He found your head."

"What's the difference between mad cow disease and PMS? Nothing."

"I need subtle fat jokes My wife is annoyingly pregnant. Give me your best."

"Whats green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table"

"What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !"

"I think abs are for guys that don't have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool."

"Surgeon: I need someone to unroll this bandage, stat! Cat nurse, excitedly: I've got this."

"What kind of cat should you take into the desert ? A first aid kitty !"