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Joke of the Day

"What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis. BTW. I know this is not a medially accurate joke"

"*amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*"

"No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up."

"*Now with 50 percent less fat* Me: ooooh *buys two*"

"WORST THING YOU CAN DO What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"Culturally speaking... Having a McDonald's in a WalMart is like finding a cyst in a tumour."

"I`m not working for Blackberry... But I`ve got a RIM job."

"Someone stole all the toilet seats at the station! Authorities have nothing to go on."

"My electronegativity class in college was such a blow off class! I got an F on all my exams for the class, but I still managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA."

"Libertarian Presidential Candidate's new Campaign, inspired by Bernie Sanders. ""Feel the Johnson"""