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Joke of the Day

"Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos."

"This Doctor... Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Doctor. Interup- You have cancer."

"A guy walks into a bar. A guy walks into a bar with a block of asphalt under his arm, he says to the bartender ""I'll have two beers, one for me and one for the road"""

"I'm close to $100,000 deep in student loans for my English degree and I just used the word ""awesome"" 10 times in a row to describe a guy."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? ""argh..."" ""NO, IT BE THE SEA"""

"LPT: Don't trust everything you read on Facebook Unless it's the pope endorsing Trump. That definitely happened."

"Why was Stalin literally worse than Hitler? Because Hitler at least wrote his own books"

"Why did Sally drop her ice-cream cone? She got hit by a bus."

"Anal sex... ...it's fucking shit!"

"When life gives you lemons Drink the kool-aide"