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Joke of the Day

"What does an empathetic kleptomaniac do in an argument? He puts himself in the other person's shoes and then walks away."

"After retiring from the sport, a snooker player takes up camera work... The director gets a shock when he tells him to make sure his cues are good or he might as well shove them up his backside."

"If you ever take a bus and you don't stare out the window and pretend you're escaping your abusive mother, you're doing it all wrong."

"Why are the Dutch such great bakers? They know their way around an oven..."

"What do you call a Vagina's Poem? A Solliloqueef"

"Someone told me that wearing glasses would make me look smarter. No one told me you had to wear clothes too."

"Dirty joke What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"My old Mum used to say, ""Always give your food a good rinse before you eat it."" Lovely woman, terrible sandwiches."

"When is a tree it's loudest? When it begins to bark."

"What do you call a flying Jedi? A skywalker. (I'm really sorry)"