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Joke of the Day

"Damn boy are you a banker? Because I really just want you to leave me a loan."

"The dog almost ate the bird tonight. It was like a Dateline episode. ""He kept to himself, but on the evening of June 6, he snapped."""

"Maybe I'm just drunk, but this toilet looks alot like my neighbors car."

"Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"I'm going to a trial in Great Sept of Baelor today, AMA. Edit: Wow, this blew up!"

"My wife wanted one of those ""unique"" names for our son. So we named him Jason The 'J' sounds like 'Th'. The ""ason"" is silent. You add ""omas"" on the end."

"Sometimes i get scared robots are going to take over. Then i use a motion-controlled sink."

"I can't hold my liquor. So I put it in my stomach."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because its two tired."

"Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations."