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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes i get scared robots are going to take over. Then i use a motion-controlled sink."

"My friend once told me Never start a joke you can't finish That's why I haven't committed suicide yet"

"Men ask us if we're naked when we tell them we're taking a bath. THAT'S why they pay more for their car insurance."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to *WANT* to change."

"I remember when my son fell asleep at a house party we had. I decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face. My wife went mental when she picked him up to change his nappy."

"I got stopped by a woman in the street today. She said, ""Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?"" I said, ""Yes, she's nearly 2 now."""

"The girl that just walked by gave my dog a double take like she thought she might've gone to high school with him."

"A horse walks into the bar Several people left because they realised the possible dangers of that situation."

"The bar (Dad joke) First guy walks into a bar. Second guy walks into the same bar. Third guy ducks."

"I just want to hug this out. With my hands around your neck type of hug. What I mean is, I want to strangle you."