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Joke of the Day
"Happy 10th birthday to your dating profile pic."
Next Joke
"What did the Chinese food say to the patron? ""Please, don't eat me! I'm Egg Foo Yung to die!"""
"F*ck the zombie apocalypse, it's never going to happen. Worry about the f*cktard apocalypse, it's already upon us."
"The longest Joke is worth the read http://longestjokeintheworld.com/"
"I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM."
"Hey, what's a good sign that you're going insane? I'm asking for an imaginary friend."
"Why did the cynic fall asleep? Because he had a bed day."
"Better be named after what? If you had to choose, would you prefer having a disease named after you, or be named after your mother in law?"
"Anybody know where I can get a Game of Thrones Valentine's day card? It's for my sister."
"A tale of two tomatoes. Once there were two tomatoes crossing a street when a car hit one of them. The one not hit turns around and says nothing due to the shock he had seeing his friend die."