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Joke of the Day
"My favorite machine in the gym is the water fountain."
Next Joke
"Idea: suicide note Mad Libs (""Sad Libs"")"
"Very proud I've never once screamed ""Woo!"" at anything."
"On my birthday my wife suggested I have a threesome... My wife suggested for my birthday I have a threesome. I replied ""Do I get to pick both girls?"" And then the fight started..."
"I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant. But it turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"
"I think I might be suffering from anorexia. Every time I look in the mirror I just see a fat guy."
"What did the bunny ask his boss for? A raise in *celery*."
"I had some Taco Bell the other night. Shit was spewing out of my ass at 88mph. Now everyone at school calls me Doc Brown."
"I tried ballet, but I never got the pointe."
"Funny one liner: My dick is so big that my girlfriend use it as a selfie stick My dick is so big that my girlfriend use it as a selfie stick"