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Joke of the Day

"I think I might be suffering from anorexia. Every time I look in the mirror I just see a fat guy."

"I bet girls on facebook with the duck faces look for men that make a lot of bread."

"Farted on my wallet... Now I have gas money."

"The only thing I want to ""portion control"" is my time spent at work."

"David Cameron: Tax evasion is morally wrong, I leaned that from my father. The tax evasion bit, not the morally wrong bit."

"Who's your Daddy? In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend ""How's your daddy?"" instead of ""Who's your daddy?"" and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes..."

"Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms."

"I love eating Swiss pancakes. They're like regular pancakes but neutral, so I can eat as many as I want."

"I got my hair cut this morning and my wife still hasn't said a thing about it. omg, I'm so mad right now I can barely breathe."

"What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse!"