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Joke of the Day

"Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like ""we need to talk."""

"I'm only human. And like all humans, I'm a fucking asshole."

"What's the opposite of shell shock? Shell expectation"

"What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? Ruth-less."

"A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes."

"I should run for public office just to see the scandalous dirt they dig up on me. I would really like to piece together my twenties."

"How many bears would Bear Gryll grill if Bear Gryll could grill bears? I dunno, but PETA would be **pissed**."

"Today I rented a prostitute... It was whore-ible"

"My dad told me ""Son if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind"" I told him ""Dad I'm over here"""

"What is the opposite of prostitute? Constitute, of course"