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Joke of the Day

"What is the opposite of prostitute? Constitute, of course"

"HER: do u have a condom ME: u bet [whistles] [an eagle flies thru the window & drops off a cat] H: holy shit M: ya sometimes he brings cats"

"Why aren't hippies good pitchers? Because they're always high and outside."

"When do Arabs return their library books? the day they're Dubai."

"My stepdaughter said the Justin Bieber movie is rated R because people will faint when they see him. I stabbed her with my car keys."

"Why doesnt Kermit like elephants? They always want to play leap-frog with him."

"Why can't java programmers see well? Because of the eclipse."

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked."

"What did the bread say after its massage? Ahh, I kneaded that."

"Friend nagged me for TDKR OST. Renamed Backstreet Boys song and mailed them to him. Fun."