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Joke of the Day

"'I'm really excited about the Pixar cowboy figure I got for my birthday.' 'Woody?' 'Not quite that excited.'"

"It's not gay when it's a three-way... ...unless you're all guys. Then, it's pretty gay. I mean, in a good way. No judgment here. Really, enjoy yourselves."

"What do you call someone who's never smoked weed? ilLITerate"

"Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying ""I want to help Arsenal win trophies."" So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put the wrong socks on this morning."

"What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks? Milk and quackers."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 13 years."

"How do you stop a nigger from raping a girl? Throw him a basketball"

"What did the jewish pedophile say too the children? Would you like to ""buy"" some candy"

"I really hate arguments about fractions. They're divisive."