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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells. Credit to DBZ. Edit: Not sure why this auto flared to religion...."

"[wedding] i wrote my own vows *removes paper* ""chickety china the chinese chicken"" whoops wrong one *2nd paper* ""if i had $1,000,000"""

"You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb."

"Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"What do you call a muslim crocodile? An Allahgator!"

"doctors before an x-ray be like ""dont worry this is perfectly safe"" and then the dude goes to egypt to press a button"

"Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex? Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers."

"My friends say I have a gambling addiction... I bet I don't."

"An American tourist in Germany... While in Germany, an American tourist saw a man peeing in a fountain. ""GROSS!"" She said. ""Danke!"" He said."

"Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant? Because they always miss their target!"