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Joke of the Day

"I told my barber that I didn't like the way he cut my hair. He said ""don't worry, it will grow on you."""

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"I love how people say they're ""expecting"" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin."
"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors It's just something I can see myself doing."
"What is Donald Trump most afraid of? That people will figure out he is a low energy, stupid, horse-fucking, cum-eating, rim-job giving fuckhead!!!"
"""What about this? What about this? And this?""--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer."
"What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto."
"What do mechanical keyboards want for dinner? Chicken ticka ticka ticka masala"
"I texted my wife with ""ROTFHAHA"" & she replied with ""LMAO"" so I don't think she understands that I'm having a heart attack."
"Irishman walks in to a bar HAHA! Get it? It is funny because it implies the Irishman left the bar before to be able to walk back in!"
"What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators? He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels."