191824

Joke of the Day

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors It's just something I can see myself doing."

"Why did God create the orgasm? So women can moan even when they are happy."

"I can't stop drinking about you."

"BREAKING: Pluto is once again a regular planet. ""It was always huge & full sized!"" said one dwarf planet scientist with a fake mustache."

"Q: Why do blondes drive VWs? A: Because they can spell it."

"Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day? Pupil: The school bus!"

"Damn girl, are you an alarm clock? Because you were a good idea last night, but now I just want you to shut the fuck up."

"How do you get rid of an obese demon? You exercise it."

"Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally"

"I feel like HGTV is creating some false expectations for the attractiveness of the contractor you hire for home renovations."