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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac? I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty."

"How did the mathematician reach the end of the Y-axis? On a plane."

"I like extremes. I want a nerd, but he's gotta be an extreme nerd. Like I don't even want to understand what he's talking about."

"Confession: I'm the one who's been posting all those idiotic comments on youtube using millions of anonymous accounts."

"I like my woman like I like my cheese Old, French and smelly"

"*Trains lightning bugs to spell* Karen, they have a message for u WILL YOU M- ""Omg Yes!"" OVE OUT? Oh good. Here I packed your bags already."

"What fun drink can put your kid to sleep? Bleach"

"The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits. She's got a point, I suppose... I work in a hammer factory."

"How did the Nucleus escape from prison? through the cell wall."

"I started this class on the weekend that teaches you how to make ice cream... Sundae School."