197354

Joke of the Day

"The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits. She's got a point, I suppose... I work in a hammer factory."

"What's the difference between a black person and cancer? Cancer got Jobs"

"You can fart openly as long as you're always holding a whoopee cushion."

"What do you call a mentally ill person without arms and legs? Call him whatever you want, its not like he's gonna get up and do anything about it."

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"

"My grandma coined the term ""TC"" in 1988 to refer to her tuna casserole."

"Why was the Headless Horseman depressed? He could never seem to get ahead in life."

"Imagine how hard you'd cry if you found out your mom had been eaten by a wolf WHILE you were chopping onions."

"First woman on the moon W: Houston, we have a problem H: What is it? W: Nevermind its nothing H: What is the problem? W: Nothing... H: Tell us what the problem is! W: NO!"

"HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl"