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Joke of the Day

"If you cut your goat in half you'll have two goats, that's just simple math."

"Her: Hey, what does this dress say to you? *Whirls Around* Me: I'm not in the mood to listen to your clothes right now, I'm drinking!!"

"Civil War Jokes you say? I General Lee don't find them funny"

"The scariest room in a haunted house would be filled with people you haven't seen since high school asking what you've been up to these days"

"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? Birds can fly, but flies can't bird"

"Jesus: One among you will betray me. John: No way dude. Matthew: No way dude. Judas: *thumbing through designer cross catalogue* Plausible."

"What did the psychiatrist say to the man who walked into her office wearing only cling wrap? I can clearly see you(')r(e) nuts."

"I ran into Harambe for the first time in a while last night, so we decided to go get a drink. Bartender: what'll you have? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Me: no, he'll have a shot."

"If you put a crown on a donkey, will he be king? No, he would be a donkey with a crown."

"Dark Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""