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Joke of the Day

"Its the last day of the year.... Just felt I should thank everyone who made me smile this year. You are one of them so here's a big THANK YOU."

"What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms!"

"The future Someone asked me the other day if I could see where I would be in 5 years. Come on man, I wear glasses. I don't have 2020 vision."

"[turning off Shrek 2] well, i'd say that movie was shrekcellent! ""trent, 1 more shrek pun and i'm divorcing you."" oh karen, don't ogre-react"

"What do you call trees that grow in Tobago? Tobogany."

"If I had a dollar for every time Greece made a bad economical decision Their economy would still be failing."

"Just to confuse the cops, let's steal the sign pole and leave the street sign."

"Maybe your parents told you a watched pot never boils so you wouldn't go around sticking your face near boiling water, idiot."

"Why are there no feminists in Japan? Because the Japanese hunt whales."

"My legs are so white that they stopped listening to their Bon Iver LP to correct my pronunciation of 'quinoa'"