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Joke of the Day

"Its the last day of the year.... Just felt I should thank everyone who made me smile this year. You are one of them so here's a big THANK YOU."

"Why do elephants have four feet? Because six inches would look silly."

"Talk Like A Pirate Day Here's my impersonation of a pirate: *ahem* Look at me. Look at me. I'm the captain now."

"Where do banana slaves go to work? Plantaintions."

"Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well."

"I saw a poor cat down the street So I felt bad and gave it two dollars"

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 Brazilian"

"""I'd like one personal pizza please"" Pizza: Your life's a mess. You should lose 10 pounds. Call your mother. ""Whoa maybe not that personal"""

"Next time a job interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years, say ""Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?"" then just sit there for 5 years."

"I quit my job as a taxi driver... I just can't stand people talking behind my back."