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Joke of the Day

"The future Someone asked me the other day if I could see where I would be in 5 years. Come on man, I wear glasses. I don't have 2020 vision."

"Stop saying: ""That's what she said"" and say ""... said the priest to his lawyer"" instead"

"That's how I ended up with a polytheist child I started with several theist children, asked them to hold tight to one another and sprayed them with a catalyst."

"Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, ""I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."" The other lowers her glasses and says, ""IC."""

"Catch 22: I bought a protein shake but am not strong enough to twist the cap off."

"What did the anus say to the nose? FRAAAAAAPPPBLAPPPPLAAAAAAAPBRENKKKKKKKKKK!!!"

"I bet the hardest thing about being a gangsta rapper is never being able to really enjoy a scone in public."

"A nun who was known to smoke a pack a day just recently quit her habit. Now she just smokes naked."

"Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup."

"Pirate walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""Is that a napkin on your head?"" Pirate replies "" No, it be a bounty""."