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Joke of the Day

"How do mermaids give birth? Via Sea-Section"

"I don't get why there's so many signs around saying ""Free Wi-Fi."" I mean, I've never seen, or for that matter heard of, any Wi-Fi in captivity!"

"Sorry about my two week Twitter hiatus, I was trying to find the end of the plastic wrap."

"No matter how hard you push the envelope It still remains stationery"

"I come from a long line of people waiting to get in."

"When doesn't a telephone work underwater? When it's wringing wet!"

"Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones? A: ""I didn't wake up this morning..."""

"Why are colds such bad robbers? Because they're so easy to catch!"

"So ladies, Oscar Pistorius is single... and he is ..."

"I just got early access to the new Injustice: Mods among us."