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Joke of the Day

"Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church..... They all look at you with disgust, but deep down, you know they want some, too."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""You know, we have a drink named after you."" Grasshopper says, ""You have a drink called Steve?"""

"In my pocket is a computer far more powerful than the one that took Apollo11 to the Moon. I use it to photograph food & fling birds at pigs."

"I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding."

"I was going to tell a gay joke... butt fuck it."

"What did the diabetic's girlfriend call him as pet name? Sweet pee."

"Ladies, if you get in an argument with a guy and you have no chance of winning, start playing with your boobs. Trust me on this one."

"Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet."

"I want to apologize for the awful true things I said when I was angry."

"In hell, your mouth is always freshly brushed & minty, and all they have to drink is orange juice."