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Joke of the Day

"Meatloaf would do anything for love Except for eating a proper diet and exercising regularly."

"What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common? Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house."

"My friend begged me to stop playing Wonderwall I said maybe."

"Man insisted on pumping my gas. Didn't turn into an euphemism until he squirted all over the side of my car & asked if that's how I like it."

"How do you know if an Asian has been to your house? Your math homework's done, your computer is upgraded, and that little twat is still trying to back out of your driveway."

"Have you heard about the internet couple that broke up? They just didn't click together anymore."

"Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the new hiding your report card from your parents."

"How do you call the current situation in Syria? Very syrias"

"My wife just cleaned out her purse. So, she'll be having a garage sale later this week."

"I do this amazing trick where I can erase every restaurant from your memory. Ready? Ok, here goes... ""Where should we go for dinner?"""