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Joke of the Day

"There's no easy well to tell your girlfriend that she has bad breath. I think I'm just going to stop kissing your girlfriend. edit: meant to say ""way"" instead of ""well"""

"No Wonder black people are so fast! Having a 3rd leg really helps."

"It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset. Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true."

"I won't block you, but I will put a curse on you that you'll never be able to finish a sneeze ever again for the rest of your life."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster. Now it doesn't work. Then I painted my computer white so it would work. Now the whole system is corrupt."

"The most artistic boxer Just watched some Evander Holyfield highlight videos. Such artistry! He's like the Vincent Van Gogh of the boxing world."

"""My girlfriend is 41 years old"" - ""My girlfriend is 41 years old."" - ""Dude, wth?! She can be your mom!!!"" - ""Yes, but she's yours"" - ._."

"What did Elton John call his tribute to Mother Teresa? Sandals in the Bin"

"What do you call a slow transgender? Translate."

"Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games? They didn't have enough pitchers."