32763

Joke of the Day

"I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail."

"Some say that Mexicans are bordering on the insane... But so what? So are Canadians."

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't."

"Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell. After: get them to put on pants."

"Shortest One-Liner ever Dwarf shortage"

"What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time? A meander-thal!"

"Why do people who like bondage shy away from anonymous one-night stands? There's no strings attached."

"What does Neil Degrasse Tyson call orgies... ...the big bang courtesy of reds"

"Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons."

"What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now? Kids."