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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss........"
Next Joke
"""Sir, you have to stop masturbating"" The nurse said. ""But why?"" The man asked ""Because I can't examine you while you're moving."""
"What's a Henway? Oh, you know. About 5 pounds. I'll show myself the door now."
"To whoever stole my thesaurus... To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person."
"Q: Why do marble statues look so mean? A: They have hearts of stone."
"What's the difference between a crow and a raven? All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion."
"My friend died today... He wasn't able to speak, but in his dying moments he wanted me to have his EpiPen. I'll cherish it forever."
"About to finish my second book of the day! And when I say book, I really mean magazine. And when I say magazine, I really mean pizza."
"The Monkey Do you know why the monkey fell out of the tree because he was fucking dead."
"Why did the creator of 9gag call it that? Because that was how many dicks he could fit in his mouth before he gagged."