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Joke of the Day

"You can remove a book's appendix without any problem. But spinal damage is usually fatal."

"Nowadays People know the price of everything, But the value of nothing."

"I ran out of toothpaste recently So I've resorted to brushing with soap. It's pretty gross, but on the plus side I've really cut back on my swearing."

"Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought."

"How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says ""just cheer up,"" beat that person with a baseball bat."

"They say 75% of all Americans live next to a pedophile. Not me.... I live next door to a hot 10 year old girl."

"My home was invaded by gay burglars the other night... ...They came in and rearranged the furniture."

"Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. ""You mean salami?"" No, just a single salamus. ""Um ok, anything else on that?"" Yes, one pepperonus."

"So I got a text from a guy. He said he lives across the street and would like to get to know me. I answered that I live in front of a cemetery and those kind of acquaintances scare the shit out of me."

"I haven't seen my mom in a while My mom decided she'd rather be a man. Then we stopped seeing her much; That tends to happen with transparents."