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Joke of the Day

"Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism."

"There's a gang in my area... There's a gang in my area who recruit new members by threatening them with all kinds of horrible punishments if they don't join. But enough about the church..."

"""You think only God can judge you?"" *Judge Judy spins around in chair to face you* ""Well THINK AGAIN!"" *bangs gavel so hard it breaks*"

"Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE"

"The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them"

"What do you call a mix Mexican-Jamaican rock climber? A caribeaner."

"How do you find will smith in the snow? You look for fresh prince."

"Where does Sean Connery shit? On the couch!"

"Are you the fourth derivative of a position function? Cause you're a jerk!"

"Have you guys tried Wookie meat? I heard that it's a little Chewy"