32479

Joke of the Day

"What's a pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken Chest with no booty"

"Me: This is a picture of my aunt Marge... Rest in peace. Friend: I'm so sorry for your loss. Me: Oh, she's not dead, she's just really lazy."

"What's the difference between a Lima Bean and a Chick Pea? I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face."

"I want a woman who can cook, clean, do the laundry, pay the bills & still set aside the time to have sex with me while her husbands at work"

"A person wearing a 'Snitches Get Stitches Shirt' I walked up to him and asked him where he got it. He said, ""At the local mall"" I beat his ass up."

"Why is today a trucker's favorite day? Cuz it's 10-4 GOOD BUDDY!!!"

"[Commercial for babies] *100 year old woman trying to feed a brick a bottle of milk* ""There's got to be a better way"""

"Took me three hours to drive home through the snow, but it was worth it because when I got home, my family totally ignored me."

"9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape"

"What shoes did the pedophile wear? White vans hah"