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Joke of the Day

"Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one."

"'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"" A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"This girl text me: ""your adorable I text back: no YOU'RE adorable Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo..."

"So i met a hooker today who said she would do anything for five bucks Guess who got their homework done!"

"A boy asks his mom, ""Why am I black and you're white?"" She says, ""Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark"""

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him. How do you catch a tame unique rabbit? Tame thing.... You unique up on him too."

"A horse bolted and ran into Liverpool FC's training ground. The horse charged wildly at the team as they were in the middle of training. None of the players were hurt, but it clipped Klopp."

"Oscar Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door... ...but apparently his girlfriend was dead against it."

"My wife caught me again on the couch with my iPad & a hand towel while I was putting lotion on my feet with my pants off."

"Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as ""grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube."""