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Joke of the Day

"A cat walks into the bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender responds: '' Are you going to drink it or just knock it over on purpose?''"

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"I wish all my younger siblings would appreciate how low I set the bar for them."
"""Saw the trailer for that new movie The Revenant, looks itense"". ""Nah, Probly tipis""."
"Words can't describe how beautiful you are But numbers can. 2/10"
"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"
"Why did helium get into a fight with neon? They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try."
"Why can't ghosts have babies? Because they have Hollow-Weenies!"
"*interrupts eulogy* SOMEONE SAID THAT ALMOST WORD FOR WORD AT THE LAST FUNERAL"
"At what temperature is best to bake Jewish cookies? 6 million degrees!!!!"
"If Donald Trump became president... one could say he coined a term."