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Joke of the Day

"Hope having cream on my hands and not being able to turn a doorknob is as close to being in jail as I get."

"Canada in view of recent events will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant. That way the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag."

"What should you NOT name your pet chicken? Robin, else he'll be robin the cock"

"Judge: order in the court, ORDER IN THE COURT Me on the witness stand:*lips pressed against the mic* 2 hot dogs and a milkshake, your honor"

"If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. ""The hamburgers are good."" And, ""They don't have hamburgers."""

"Why do cats love small spaces? 'cause pussies gotta be tight"

"Just wondering what is a funny punchline to: (saw this incomplete joke in southpark) A baptist priest with a huge boner walks into a bar..."

"I like to cook my meat like I like my women Low and slow."

"cop: we found your wife with a knife in her back me: that doesn't sound like her, she never kept a knife there"

"They should make the female swimmers wear a tube top & thong then maybe I'd finish before they did."