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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked me how I viewed lesbian relationships... Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"FDA should require Starbucks baristas/cashiers to be calorie counters. ""Here's change of 50 and that's 1,073 calories of your Venti Frap."""

"A Board Game Walks into a Bar... The bartender says, ""look, we don't want any Trouble!"""

"Iggy Azalea may not be the best singer... but she certainly is the fanciest"

"My doctor said I have about a month left. So I stabbed him. The judge gave me ten to fifteen years. Crisis averted."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street? They were arch enemies."

"Just walked past a girl with a Banksy tattoo on her arm. She must be a really deep sleeper!"

"I hope this new health care bill also includes every American's right to a lollipop after leaving the doctor."

"I hate when my boyfriend's snoring wakes me up and then I realize it was my snoring and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm going to die alone."