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Joke of the Day

"Him: sex tonight? Me: Work put me in a bad mood Him: tomorrow? Me: I have a headache tomorrow"

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world Those who know binary, and those who don't."

"Wearing shades inside makes me look cool, right? *Trips over the cat*"

"Oh com'on Kim Jong everyone has a ""funny uncle"" in the family....don't you think the firing squad was a little harsh???"

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? America."

"WHY *smack* DON'T *smack* YOU *smack* JUST *smack* USE *smack* THE *smack* RETWEET *smack* BUTTON?"

"Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine"

"[Genie] Last wish idiot, impress me. [Me] I want Morgan Freeman to narrate my eulogy [drops dead] [Morgan Freeman] He was an idiot."

"I want to die the same way I was born. Naked, screaming, and covered in blood."

"A Lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar! The Barman says ""I'm serving narnia"""