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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a rigged carnival? An UnFair."
Next Joke
"It looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night ... Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."
"4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?"
"Our Mexican neighbor made us dinner and it tastes like I committed a grave error in marrying a white girl."
"In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s"
"I've been reading the dictionary. Spoiler alert: ""zyzzyva""!!"
"I have four problems in life... ...counting, remembering and counting."
"If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you."
"Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL."
"I bought some ""no more tears"" baby shampoo But I'm still not over her :("