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Joke of the Day
"It looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night ... Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."
Next Joke
"Just got my results from ancestry dot com and it turns out I'm a quarter manatee."
"i feel like a hundred bucks! *my soul erupts with the strength of 100 wild male deers*"
"I'm not bad with names, it's just that you leave absolutely no impression on people."
"Why don't you see Santa for the rest of the year? Because for the rest of the year he's in prison for breaking into people's houses."
"Your momma so old... powdered milk comes out her nipples."
"without moms we'd have no password security questions. thanks mom, for making online banking possible"
"I hate people who think it's cool to take drugs ...like customs officers"
"What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? The winner of last year's hide & go seek contest."
"That awkward moment when I'm really drunk and you're still ugly."