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Joke of the Day

"Stuck in traffic but luckily few people are beeping their horns so we'll be moving any second now."

"Carl: ""It's chilly out."" Me: ""Tell me something I don't know."" ""Two dogs were hanged during the Salem witch trials."" ""Fair enough, Carl."""

"The confused radioactive element So there was a radioactive element who was perpetually confused. One fine day, he was asked, ""what do you do?"". ""IDK""."

"What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon Tennish"

"I can't wait to see the new movie, ""Constipation"" Unfortunately it hasn't come out yet."

"A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown...... A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and replies, ""What.......is this some kind of Joke?"""

"If I ever got stranded on an island, I could totally use the glare that bounces off the whiteness of my legs to signal for help."

"Waiter: What dressing would you like on your salad? Me: Ice cream"

"Did you know diarrhea is inherited? It runs in your genes."

"Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted."