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Joke of the Day

"ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business."

"Printing... Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"How many armed men does it take to extort an Olympic athlete? A Brazilian."

"Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same... Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal."

"Odds are there is someone who is your ""Facebook Friend"" that you absolutely cannot stand and the only reason you keep them on your list is to watch their slow untimely demise."

"If you're going to carry on a cell phone conversation in the men's room you can count on me to make HORRIBLE noises and flush every two seconds."

"I'm really good at wrapping presents. It's a gift."

"What should you do when push comes to shove? Learn to read. The door says ""pull""."

"Me: kids, your mother & I are in a gang now. There's room for 2 more members Son: but there's 3 of us Me [petting both our dogs]: 3 what?"

"Husband comes home early and sees his wife with a black man. And says: ""Now i can see black on white that you are cheating on me. """