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Joke of the Day

"Me: kids, your mother & I are in a gang now. There's room for 2 more members Son: but there's 3 of us Me [petting both our dogs]: 3 what?"

"The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO"

"Did you hear about the logical skunk? It made sense."

"*catches frisbee* ""this is the kinda thing I mean when I say you guys don't take staff meetings seriously"""

"[Gaming] Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side"

"Monday through Friday I have a friend who, Monday through Friday seems very strong, but Saturday and Sunday he's weekend."

"What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack o' Lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi"

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. [Credit Jack Handy, I believe]"

"If a fish died in the ocean... ...does it become a marine corpse?"

"Where do polar bears go to have emotional breakthroughs? The CathArctic."