31784

Joke of the Day

"The average person swallows eight spiders a year. And i've NEVER settled for average (pours burlap sack of spiders down throat)"

"My son was upset his personalised number plate name was already taken I'd never seen little YCM-846 so sad before"

"Having sex is like playing an instrument. When you do it right, you'll start hearing noises."

"What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? Oh shit, some arsehole has got my pen."

"3 tomatoes are walking down the street A dad tomato, a mom tomato and a child tomato. The child starts to lag behind so, the dad walks back to him and squashes him and says ""ketchup"""

"I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome There were just 30 girls..."

"How many hours A guys asked he's wife ""how many hours will it take me to get to 80 miles going 80mph"" the wife looks at him confused and answers ""80 hours"""

"It's a shame Laremy Tunsil fell in the draft... But he was still the highest pick!"

"The only indie movie I like is Raiders of the Lost Ark"

"How do you make a chicken salad? Make a salad and give it to a chicken."