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Joke of the Day

"The average person swallows eight spiders a year. And i've NEVER settled for average (pours burlap sack of spiders down throat)"

Next Joke
 
"I jumped into the pool with my iPhone.... It's syncing now"
"What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick."
"Jesse James married my sister. He's know my brother out-law"
"Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games? They didn't have enough pitchers."
"I named my dick Christmas Christmas came early"
"I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new ""selfie sticks"" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant"
"As a cop, I can't play PokemonGo... So I play Pokemon blacks: Gotta catch Jamal."
"I wish all tests were things you peed on"
"I just paid $25 for a hot 20 year old chick to rub her boobs all over me I love having my hair cut."